Book Now

A Sunny Town for Shady People

Miami is a smorgasbord of criminality from all over the world.  I confess to being obsessed with the Cocaine Cowboys era, coinciding with the McDuffie Riots, the Mariel boatlift, crises in Jamaica and Haiti, and drugs flooding our streets.   This 1981 Time magazine cover was definitely the height of our criminality, but illegal activities have always been part of our affluence.  That smorgabord of criminality continues today, with much of today’s real estate boom built with laundered money.

  • Al Capone moved to Miami in the late 1920’s during Prohibition because Florida, especially Miami, was the epicenter of illegal alcohol entering the US from Cuba and the Bahamas.   One politician called Florida “the leakiest state in the country”.   
  • Griselda Blanco aka The Godmother was in charge of distribution for the Medellin Cartel in Miami.  She is estimated to have ordered killed 150 people in Miami alone, plus four of her husbands.  Her last husband, Charles Crosby, narrowly escaped Griselda’s assassins, writing a book about his marriage called “Just Call Me Godmother”

When the Cocaine Cowboys documentary came out, Cubans asked why Cocaine Cowboys gave all the credit for trafficking cocaine to the Colombians.  Cubans claimed to have trafficked way more cocaine that Colombians.  Sal Malguta was the guy that smuggled the most.  Sal and Willie posed as offshore racing champions, taking their Go Fast boats on races all over the country, all a front for trafficking, as their boats were filled with cocaine.  

  • GianCarlo Granda was a simple cabana boy at the Fontainebleu hotel until Jerry Falwell Jr allegedly watched GianCarlo and Mrs. Falwell have relations. Nothing criminal, but the scandal caused Liberty University, a christian college, to disassociate itself from Falwell, dishonoring Falwell Sr’s legacy.   The Falwells gave GianCarlo over $2 million dollars to buy a youth hostel on Miami Beach.  
  • All the Miami Housewives had a connection to drug traffickers except Dr. Hochstein aka the Boob God.  Alexa, the blond on the right, was featured in Cocaine Cowboys 3, where she lived in Champlain Towers in the 80’s, the same building that collapsed in Surfside 2021  
  • Porn star Ramon has the world’s most famous middle leg. He was busted for animal cruelty with 22 goats and chickens in his van. Arrested not because he was going to sacrifice the animals, mind you. Arrested because he had left them in the hot van while he was eating in the Pollo Tropical next to Magic City Casino. Santeria is Miami’s most ubiquitous religion.
  • Andrew Cunanan never had a relationship with Gianni Versace.  Cunanan was arich kid turned serial killer that started his killing spree in San Diego, killing a half dozen as he crossed the country.  A cook at Miami Subs called police to tell them he saw the man on “America’s most wanted”, but Miami Beach police took 45 minutes to arrive and Cunanan was gone. A week later he killed Versace.  
Close Menu